Read Message

catman: In memory of Ariel

It is with great sadness that I have to announce the passing of my orange tabby cat, Ariel.She developed bone cancer sometime within the last two or three months, but by the time that I discovered it, it was pretty much already too late.We took her in for a wellness exam, which should have gone like all the ones where the cats were well. However, the doctor discovered a mass on her face. Once I started to pay attention to it, it looked huge.At first, we thought—everybody thought—it was an abscessed tooth. However, when we removed the tooth, the mass did not go away. In fact, it got bigger, and I was giving her pain medication all the time because we couldn't control the pain.I spent the July 4th weekend with her, which should have been fun because it was America's 250th birthday. But instead, it was sad, very sad for me. I watched my cat decay. I watched her turn from an absolutely adorable cat who loved to be involved in everything all around her.

I can remember when anybody would come in and do work, she had to be right in their face watching what they were doing. What she got out of that, I'm not exactly sure, but without failure until the end, every single time anyone came in here to do any work—or even if I did it—she had to be there watching. She was very carefully watching and observing the situation, as if asking, "What is that that they're doing?"I would love to tell you more about her, but this is too painful for me.So for now, suffice it to say that she leaves behind her little brother, Austin, who is actually quite a big black cat with green eyes.Olive, a gray cat, and her mommy, and me, her dad.Actually, I don't know who's taking it worse. Is it Austin, or is it me?

With Austin, he moved over here from my fiance's house because he had been feral a little bit, and we had to teach him how to be a house cat. Ariel did that. Ariel had a lot of patience working with him.

And so I don't know who's going to take this harder. Is it going to be me, or is it going to be Austin?

One thing I do know, and I tell him every single day now since she's been gone: you and I are going to pull each other through this.On the day that we put Ariel to sleep, everybody gathered, said goodbye to her, and petted her.

She scooted toward me, like, "Don't do this to me. I'm your kitty."

I said, "It's okay, Ariel. It's all right."

Earlier that day, I prayed to God that He would send a band of angels to scoop her up and lead her right through the gates of heaven, where she could purr on God's lap eternally. I asked God if He would do that for me.When I'm happy, I believe that God answers my prayer, and that she is laying on His lap, eternally purring and purring and playing with all the other cats in heaven.

When I'm not happy, when I'm down, when I'm depressed, when this whole thing drags me down, I ask God: "Why did this have to happen? Why now? We had that cat for eleven years. Why?"Music therapy is one of my favorite activities to take part in when I need answers to questions. The song that came to me was by Hillary Scott & The Scott Family called "Thy Will." I listened to that, and if you listen to it, you'll know where I was at.In a lot of ways, I still am.I prayed for Ariel. Now I'm in need of prayer. Lots of prayer. From lots of people.One of the lines of the song is, "I know you're good, but this don't feel good right now."One of the more poignant lyrics of the song is, "Sometimes I gotta stop and remember you are God and I am not."So I will be done. I have no choice.I keep wondering, though, when is this going to get any better? I haven't been outside in a week, and I really don't much care about too much anymore.But I take care of Austin, I take care of Olive, and I feel close to a lot of different people around me now. I don't take things for granted anymore.

Of course, every time something like this happens, I start out doing that, and then later on I slip back to what everybody else does and just don't think anything's going to happen to you until it does—like this.Ariel was a cat that was very special and is irreplaceable, but Austin needs a playmate. I don't know if I'm going to replace Ariel right away or not, or just try and get me and Austin to shove our way through this.But anyway, right now I just feel miserable and I need everybody's prayers. So thank you and God bless you.